Tuesday, June 9, 2015

The Truth about Church Camp

Guys!!!!! This video is fantastic!!!!!!!!!! Granted I want to run my own camp one day and I will be working for two camps this summer so I support summer camp 100%. But this really sums up what it's about. Check it out! It's pretty funny!

Saturday, June 6, 2015

Honeymoon in the mountains!

Okay guys. You're about to get seriously overwhelmed with photos from the honeymoon! It was so freaking perfect! Somehow I didn't think to get photos of the cabin we rented. But it was the most adorable little log cabin half way up a mountain in the middle of nowhere Tennessee. It was so lovely! We did some hiking and scenic drives and I want to go back and relive it all again! I don't have much to say for all these photos so just take a look. There's a killer panorama at the bottom. I still can't believe I'm all wifed up. I'm pretty sure I haven't figured this married life stuff out yet. But I'm working on it! And our marriage had the most glorious of starts! I'll stop chatting now and let you enjoy the photos.

Thursday, June 4, 2015

Married Life: The beginning

I guess I'm not really blogging about the beginning. Because that would be the honeymoon. Which was amazing and I promise to post about that soon with lots of pictures! But this post is just about our life now that we're back home. I will also be sure to post wedding photos soon! Don't worry!

Jeff moved into the home I was living in with my roommate and the wonderful high school senior who shall continue to remain nameless for privacy. Although our house is spacious the transition has been ... different. Very different. But we are doing what we can to make some of the space feel like our own. We have changed my room around to be our room. Look how cute it is! I love it!

I think the space is absolutely adorable and I can not wait until we move and can have a whole apartment and not just a room to ourselves. Most of our wedding gifts are in stacks in the garage because we don't have room for them yet. In August we will begin our adventures in Texas and have a place to put all of our new things!

Jeff and I have very opposite schedules right now and much of our interaction is in passing. Which isn't easy. But it's just a season of life. Not forever. But last Tuesday evening I was going to be home when Jeff got home from his first day at his new job. So I decided to try my hand at being a domesticated wife. I cooked chicken, homemade mac and cheese, green beans, red velvet cupcakes, and even homemade lemonade! It wasn't half bad if I do say so myself! haha! But I realized that I'm not quite cut out for that homemaker life. At least not unless I have a house full of children. Right now I'm only working two jobs. And I'm out of school for the summer. So I have more free time than I know what to do with. I like being busy. The house is too quiet. I just end up reading and napping and feeling like I've done nothing when I actually don't really have stuff to do. But now that we know we're moving in August our lives are about to get crazy busy with trips to visit family and such. So really I need to just count this down time as a blessing. But yeah. This is very different for me. I went from 18 college credit hours, three jobs, and the horrors of wedding planning, to just two jobs. Real dramatic drop in my schedule. I feel useless. But these trips will help fill my time! And I'll go through all this again once we move in August! haha! But at least I'll have the project of making our house feel like home before we move! 

Also Jeff made me these beautiful wood photo blocks of pictures of us! They are so cute and perfect! Right now they're hung in our bedroom! I love them so much! Look how cute we are! :)
Anyway. I don't know what this post was really about. But basically we're in the middle of a lot of change and I don't like change. So I'm dealing with some things. haha! But I'm excited! It's very good! I have such an amazing husband who I am so happy to be with! He makes all this craziness worth it! 

Saturday, May 2, 2015

The Boys Senior Prom!

Check out this handsome devil that I am so blessed to call family! He had his senior prom last night! Just look at how snazzy he is! And his girlfriend looked stunning! Apparently he got nominated for prom king! The end of his senior year is so close! It's so crazy! He has only been in our life for a few months but it has been amazing to see him grow and change over that time! He is such an amazing young man with a great future ahead of him! He's also gotten Ellynn and I to grow up quite a bit as our lives have changed a lot by having him a part of it! It's been amazing! I can't imagine life without him now! I can not wait to see where life takes him and see him conquer the many challenges ahead as he starts college and then whatever comes after that! And with that lovely lady at his side!

I don't know what I'd do without this kid!

And that's the end of my post. I just wanted to show my love and appreciation for this young man and show you guys how dapper he is in a tux!


Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Why I'm not ready to get married in 19 days (and why I don't want to be ready)

Jeff and I are getting married in 19 days. I couldn't be happier! I am so in love with this sweet and caring man who loves me so much more than I could ever imagine! He's an amazing man of God and simply put I just couldn't imagine my life without him!

All that being said: I'm not ready for marriage. I'm not ready to be a wife. I'm just not. 

But it's not for all of the reasons people keep asking me about, like me being so young. Apparently getting married at 20 is a miserable decision and I don't know what I'm doing. Apparently not being able to drink on your wedding day is a big deal. Apparently I'm too young to know who I want to marry. We'll both be so different later on in life!

None of those are the reasons I'm not ready. I'll be just fine not drinking on my wedding day, and I have been with Jeff for nearly 4 years. We aren't the same people we were 4 years ago! People grow and change! And I know we will grow and change a lot over the rest of our lives! But we're in it together! I'm not concerned about any of that. We will work those out. I am totally ready to start our life together! 

I'm not ready because I'm just not. I don't know what it takes to be a great wife! I'm gonna spend a lot of time trying a probably almost as much time failing! I don't know what I'm doing. I like to plan things. I like knowing exactly how to get from A to B seamlessly. There is no "how to" book for being a wife that is specified to mine and Jeff's life. There's just so much room for error! Plus a military wife? Me?!?! I never pictured that for my life! What does that even mean besides move a lot? People make a big deal about it so it's gotta mean more than that. I have absolutely no formula for success for this.

But I am going to throw my all into this. If Jeff and I waited for me to be "ready" for marriage we might not be married until I'm 50! Maybe not even then! The best things in life have happened to me when I wasn't ready! 

I was not ready to move away from my family for college and start a new life in South Carolina!

I was not ready to sign a lease with a total stranger but she's become one of my best friends! 

I wasn't ready to bring a 17 year old guy into my house but he's been the greatest decision ever and I've gotten to see him grow and mature into such an amazing man!

And I'm not ready to get married. 

But I can't wait. I truly believe this is the greatest decision I've ever made.

I don't want to wait until I'm ready because I will have missed out on so much. It's all scary stuff. But life never waits for us to be ready. So why should we. I hope to have many more times in life when I'm not ready. Great things can't happen without risks. And God is so much bigger than my sense of comfort and control and ability to succeed. Again and again in scripture we see that God doesn't use those who are ready. He uses those who are willing. And I truly believe God is doing to do great things in and through our marriage. So why should I stress about being ready. I am willing and eager! 

All in all: I am not ready, but I can not wait! This is gonna be a great adventure!


Sunday, March 15, 2015

Stress...I gotta get it together

I have had some serious stress issues lately. And blogging is a massive stress reliever for me. Even if I'm not blogging about things that stress me, just the relief of writing my thoughts down is so helpful.

READER WARNING: I am really just going to free write this. It's late and I need to get it out. It's probably going to be boring and not relate-able to most readers. I'll make sure my next post is written with you readers in mind!

Jeff and I are going through pre-marital counseling with the pastor who is marrying us. And we did this assessment thing of a bunch of things, one of which being stressors and stress levels. Of course my list was laughably long. I didn't realize it was that long. Like seriously, it's time to get it together. So I am writing this post to both vent about my stress and to get back to blogging. Honestly I am completely aware that everything I stress about isn't worth all of the stress I make out of it. It isn't. I know this in my head. But in reality I can't seem to bring myself to understand this.

Like I am terribly stressed about my health all the time and carefully monitoring every slight change to my weight or my blood pressure and I'm in tune to the slightest off feeling. Which honestly isn't a bad thing at all considering that I really do have various issues with my blood that can cause a ridiculous amount of symptoms. But I spend so much time stressing over the fast that I felt light headed for a minute - was that because of blood pressure - or blood sugar - did something spike up - or did something dip low - do I need to eat, or exercise, or rest to bring it back to normal. And I tend to need to eat more to keep all my various levels of things where they need to be but then I have this unnecessary obsession with keeping my body thin. And I don't have time to work out so controlling my food is generally how I try to see my obsession through. But then I don't eat and then some level for something is off and I cycle through those issues! And then the cycle stresses me because I see it happening and don't really know how to make it stop. And then maybe I should go to a doctor but I can't afford to go to the doctor. Ah! Plus stress is terrible for ones heart. I've had EKG's done in the past due to the effects stress was having on my heart. Which effects all of those blood levels. Like basically my stress is slowly killing me. Like actually destroying my body. And I really have no idea how to get out of it. I mean I do! I need to do stress relieving things! I need to start doing yoga again! I need to eat regularly and right! But I don't have time for any of these things. I've stopped working at Outback 5 days a week this semester and I've gone down to 4 in hopes to help ease some stress. And then I stress about the money I've lost by not picking up a 5th day. I feel like I can't win right now.

I get stressed about my classes. I am barely making it by this semester and I feel like I'm trying as hard as I can. I am barely sleeping but somehow I am barely getting school work done either. I don't know how I can manage to not do either. I like to think of myself as an intelligent person. I used to be a mostly A's with occasional B's student. This semester I am mostly C's so far. I know I can do better! I do! It would be different if my classes were above my understating! They really aren't this semester! Marketing class is hard but just because I have no idea what the professor ever seems to want. He's all over the place and it's one of those 3 hour, once a week, night classes. So the fact that no one in the class knows what's going on makes me feel better. When I try to do homework and focus I end up wandering to stressing about wedding details, namely the wedding budget, or my own personal financial situation, or back to my health.

And the wedding budget! Oh my word! I am working my butt off to be able to pay an equal amount as Jeff. But my goodness weddings are expensive! And it's only 9 weeks away! I only have nine more weeks to get my half together! So that makes me want to pick up more work shifts but then I don't have homework time. Are you noticing how all of these things seem super intertwined? Cause it seems impossible to get out of right now. And then all of my bills and such! Like I'm not just working to pay for a wedding! I have to take care of myself too! Obviously rent and water and such come before the wedding. But goodness it's so hard to work for both. Because in reality I need to be working 6 days a week to comfortably pay my bills and pay for the wedding. This measly 4 I'm working doesn't feel like enough. But then I fail out of college during my senior year. There seems to be no winning.

And time with friends? ha! I can't remember the last time I went out with friends just because! I used to do fun things like spontaneous trips to cook-out of krispy kreme! Now I need like three weeks notice to squeeze someone into my schedule and even then it's tough!

But there is an end in sight! The wedding stress and the school stress will both be over in May! I will be married and out of school for the summer! So look at that! A light at the end of the tunnel! I know it's there and that it's coming! But keeping my head above water until then is very very hard. I'm honestly downright scared! Like I passed out the other day for no apparent reason! That's not okay! But I don't know what to do! I need my body to not fall apart before I reach May! I just need to remember that one day when I have my college degree and I am a happy wife working in my field of study instead of Outback and a local wedding planner (I actually love working as a wedding planner and would do it full time if I could!) I will know these days are worth it. But until then. I just need to keep my eye on the future and do the best I can.

"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." John 16:33

Ya know, when I read these verse it brings me peace. Jesus has overcome the whole world and I only have one itsy bitsy tiny bit of the world. Really nothing to be stressed about! I truly have nothing to be stressed about! I mean I have an amazing family at home in NC and I have an amazing family with my roommate and Cody! Like of my gosh I love my little Charleston family! And my fiance Jeff is such a blessing and poor guy doesn't know what to do with my lack of ability to handle stress! I can't blame him! But he's so sweet and understanding about it! I am so blessed to be marrying such an amazing man! And I serve and worship a God who is so much greater than my relatively little issues! And although my health truly does make a lot of things harder for me in life and can often be a super sensitive subject for me I know that overall I do have my health! I am not battling anything that I don't have control over. I have amazing friends who love me and care about me! It really is all going to be okay! I know it will!