Saturday, May 2, 2015

The Boys Senior Prom!

Check out this handsome devil that I am so blessed to call family! He had his senior prom last night! Just look at how snazzy he is! And his girlfriend looked stunning! Apparently he got nominated for prom king! The end of his senior year is so close! It's so crazy! He has only been in our life for a few months but it has been amazing to see him grow and change over that time! He is such an amazing young man with a great future ahead of him! He's also gotten Ellynn and I to grow up quite a bit as our lives have changed a lot by having him a part of it! It's been amazing! I can't imagine life without him now! I can not wait to see where life takes him and see him conquer the many challenges ahead as he starts college and then whatever comes after that! And with that lovely lady at his side!

I don't know what I'd do without this kid!

And that's the end of my post. I just wanted to show my love and appreciation for this young man and show you guys how dapper he is in a tux!


Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Why I'm not ready to get married in 19 days (and why I don't want to be ready)

Jeff and I are getting married in 19 days. I couldn't be happier! I am so in love with this sweet and caring man who loves me so much more than I could ever imagine! He's an amazing man of God and simply put I just couldn't imagine my life without him!

All that being said: I'm not ready for marriage. I'm not ready to be a wife. I'm just not. 

But it's not for all of the reasons people keep asking me about, like me being so young. Apparently getting married at 20 is a miserable decision and I don't know what I'm doing. Apparently not being able to drink on your wedding day is a big deal. Apparently I'm too young to know who I want to marry. We'll both be so different later on in life!

None of those are the reasons I'm not ready. I'll be just fine not drinking on my wedding day, and I have been with Jeff for nearly 4 years. We aren't the same people we were 4 years ago! People grow and change! And I know we will grow and change a lot over the rest of our lives! But we're in it together! I'm not concerned about any of that. We will work those out. I am totally ready to start our life together! 

I'm not ready because I'm just not. I don't know what it takes to be a great wife! I'm gonna spend a lot of time trying a probably almost as much time failing! I don't know what I'm doing. I like to plan things. I like knowing exactly how to get from A to B seamlessly. There is no "how to" book for being a wife that is specified to mine and Jeff's life. There's just so much room for error! Plus a military wife? Me?!?! I never pictured that for my life! What does that even mean besides move a lot? People make a big deal about it so it's gotta mean more than that. I have absolutely no formula for success for this.

But I am going to throw my all into this. If Jeff and I waited for me to be "ready" for marriage we might not be married until I'm 50! Maybe not even then! The best things in life have happened to me when I wasn't ready! 

I was not ready to move away from my family for college and start a new life in South Carolina!

I was not ready to sign a lease with a total stranger but she's become one of my best friends! 

I wasn't ready to bring a 17 year old guy into my house but he's been the greatest decision ever and I've gotten to see him grow and mature into such an amazing man!

And I'm not ready to get married. 

But I can't wait. I truly believe this is the greatest decision I've ever made.

I don't want to wait until I'm ready because I will have missed out on so much. It's all scary stuff. But life never waits for us to be ready. So why should we. I hope to have many more times in life when I'm not ready. Great things can't happen without risks. And God is so much bigger than my sense of comfort and control and ability to succeed. Again and again in scripture we see that God doesn't use those who are ready. He uses those who are willing. And I truly believe God is doing to do great things in and through our marriage. So why should I stress about being ready. I am willing and eager! 

All in all: I am not ready, but I can not wait! This is gonna be a great adventure!


Sunday, March 15, 2015

Stress...I gotta get it together

I have had some serious stress issues lately. And blogging is a massive stress reliever for me. Even if I'm not blogging about things that stress me, just the relief of writing my thoughts down is so helpful.

READER WARNING: I am really just going to free write this. It's late and I need to get it out. It's probably going to be boring and not relate-able to most readers. I'll make sure my next post is written with you readers in mind!

Jeff and I are going through pre-marital counseling with the pastor who is marrying us. And we did this assessment thing of a bunch of things, one of which being stressors and stress levels. Of course my list was laughably long. I didn't realize it was that long. Like seriously, it's time to get it together. So I am writing this post to both vent about my stress and to get back to blogging. Honestly I am completely aware that everything I stress about isn't worth all of the stress I make out of it. It isn't. I know this in my head. But in reality I can't seem to bring myself to understand this.

Like I am terribly stressed about my health all the time and carefully monitoring every slight change to my weight or my blood pressure and I'm in tune to the slightest off feeling. Which honestly isn't a bad thing at all considering that I really do have various issues with my blood that can cause a ridiculous amount of symptoms. But I spend so much time stressing over the fast that I felt light headed for a minute - was that because of blood pressure - or blood sugar - did something spike up - or did something dip low - do I need to eat, or exercise, or rest to bring it back to normal. And I tend to need to eat more to keep all my various levels of things where they need to be but then I have this unnecessary obsession with keeping my body thin. And I don't have time to work out so controlling my food is generally how I try to see my obsession through. But then I don't eat and then some level for something is off and I cycle through those issues! And then the cycle stresses me because I see it happening and don't really know how to make it stop. And then maybe I should go to a doctor but I can't afford to go to the doctor. Ah! Plus stress is terrible for ones heart. I've had EKG's done in the past due to the effects stress was having on my heart. Which effects all of those blood levels. Like basically my stress is slowly killing me. Like actually destroying my body. And I really have no idea how to get out of it. I mean I do! I need to do stress relieving things! I need to start doing yoga again! I need to eat regularly and right! But I don't have time for any of these things. I've stopped working at Outback 5 days a week this semester and I've gone down to 4 in hopes to help ease some stress. And then I stress about the money I've lost by not picking up a 5th day. I feel like I can't win right now.

I get stressed about my classes. I am barely making it by this semester and I feel like I'm trying as hard as I can. I am barely sleeping but somehow I am barely getting school work done either. I don't know how I can manage to not do either. I like to think of myself as an intelligent person. I used to be a mostly A's with occasional B's student. This semester I am mostly C's so far. I know I can do better! I do! It would be different if my classes were above my understating! They really aren't this semester! Marketing class is hard but just because I have no idea what the professor ever seems to want. He's all over the place and it's one of those 3 hour, once a week, night classes. So the fact that no one in the class knows what's going on makes me feel better. When I try to do homework and focus I end up wandering to stressing about wedding details, namely the wedding budget, or my own personal financial situation, or back to my health.

And the wedding budget! Oh my word! I am working my butt off to be able to pay an equal amount as Jeff. But my goodness weddings are expensive! And it's only 9 weeks away! I only have nine more weeks to get my half together! So that makes me want to pick up more work shifts but then I don't have homework time. Are you noticing how all of these things seem super intertwined? Cause it seems impossible to get out of right now. And then all of my bills and such! Like I'm not just working to pay for a wedding! I have to take care of myself too! Obviously rent and water and such come before the wedding. But goodness it's so hard to work for both. Because in reality I need to be working 6 days a week to comfortably pay my bills and pay for the wedding. This measly 4 I'm working doesn't feel like enough. But then I fail out of college during my senior year. There seems to be no winning.

And time with friends? ha! I can't remember the last time I went out with friends just because! I used to do fun things like spontaneous trips to cook-out of krispy kreme! Now I need like three weeks notice to squeeze someone into my schedule and even then it's tough!

But there is an end in sight! The wedding stress and the school stress will both be over in May! I will be married and out of school for the summer! So look at that! A light at the end of the tunnel! I know it's there and that it's coming! But keeping my head above water until then is very very hard. I'm honestly downright scared! Like I passed out the other day for no apparent reason! That's not okay! But I don't know what to do! I need my body to not fall apart before I reach May! I just need to remember that one day when I have my college degree and I am a happy wife working in my field of study instead of Outback and a local wedding planner (I actually love working as a wedding planner and would do it full time if I could!) I will know these days are worth it. But until then. I just need to keep my eye on the future and do the best I can.

"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." John 16:33

Ya know, when I read these verse it brings me peace. Jesus has overcome the whole world and I only have one itsy bitsy tiny bit of the world. Really nothing to be stressed about! I truly have nothing to be stressed about! I mean I have an amazing family at home in NC and I have an amazing family with my roommate and Cody! Like of my gosh I love my little Charleston family! And my fiance Jeff is such a blessing and poor guy doesn't know what to do with my lack of ability to handle stress! I can't blame him! But he's so sweet and understanding about it! I am so blessed to be marrying such an amazing man! And I serve and worship a God who is so much greater than my relatively little issues! And although my health truly does make a lot of things harder for me in life and can often be a super sensitive subject for me I know that overall I do have my health! I am not battling anything that I don't have control over. I have amazing friends who love me and care about me! It really is all going to be okay! I know it will!

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Engagement Photos and other things

My last post informed you dear readers about my recent engagement! I am so super excited! My lovely friend Tiffany took these amazing photos!

You may or may not know that I work for a wedding planner in Charleston. I love it! It's a great job! But now planning my own wedding feels more like work than fun. Wedding is a chore. But I am supper excited about actually getting married and being married to the love of my life! Like come on, this guy is AMAZING!

Moving dates for Ohio still haven't been set which is mildly stressful. But hey! At least we know where we're going! I have a location to casually google apartments and churches and restaurants and wedding planners to work for! It's going to be a great new adventure (I'm avoiding thinking about the cold winter.) that I get to experience with J! That's pretty stinking exciting!

Anyway, I'm in one of my classes right now so I should attempt to pay attention. Enjoy some photos of us being adorable! hehe!

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

We're Getting Married!

I've been a little busy recently and haven't gotten around to posting much. School is back and work is busy as ever. Oh and I also got engaged!!!! Yeah! That happened! Like three weeks ago!

He was so freaking adorable about it too! He made a little video with his friends for me to watch (we met at camp when we were 16 and 17 because I recognized them from their silly youtube videos) and then had his friend Christian show up with coffee and Jeff gave me the coffee and said, "Well you always said you'd marry anyone who brought you coffee." He got down on his knee and, "So will you marry me?" and I was essentially dying from all of the adorableness and the only thing I could say was "Seriously? Are you serious right now!?"  Obviously I was still in a bit of shock but I quickly pulled it together enough to give him a "Yes!" and a kiss! 

It was hands down the most adorable thing in the world. Don't try to argue with me about this. Most adorable thing in the world. You can take all of the youtube videos of puppies and kittens and put them together and this will still be cuter. hehe!

Plus this ring!!!!! Oh my word!!!!! It's so beyond perfect! I don't think I could have ever imagined a ring so perfect!!!! It's a custom made rose gold band made to look like little branches and leaves. It's so cute! And the diamonds are from his great-grandmas engagement ring. How perfect is that?!?!?!? It is the most perfect ring in the world!!!

So that's what I've been up to! Now my time is busy with wedding planning and wedding registries and all that fun stuff and pre-marital counseling will be starting soon! Soooo much to do! But very exciting! 


Tuesday, December 30, 2014

My Seven New Years Resolutions

Everyone knows that if you post some promise on the internet then you have an unspoken obligation to actually follow through with it. So I will post my resolutions here. Then at the end of they year y'all can keep me accountable as the year goes on.

First: I am going to blog more. I think this year ahead is going to come with a lot of change. To be honest I haven't the slightest idea where I'll be or what my life will look like this time next year. So I will blog through my uncertainties and changes that will come this year.

Second: I have got to get into shape. I have spent this last year abusing my poor back injury and not nourishing my body and have come up with health issues that I probably wouldn't have or at least wouldn't struggle with so much if I took care of myself properly. So I'm going to start with yoga to strengthen my back. I've been in too much pain lately. But many friends have recommended Charleston Community Yoga. So I am going to start there next week. I'm also going to eat more often and healthier.

Third: Save more money. I saw someone say that saving every five dollar bill they receive was a great way for them to save money. I think that's how I'll start. As a waitress I come in contact with a lot of fives. I can do this. We'll see how much I can save in fives by next year.

Fourth: I want to move somewhere new. This is my last year at Charleston Southern. But my final semester will be online. This gives me freedom to up and move wherever I want once Cody starts college! J will be moving somewhere next summer but we've only talked about the possibility of me joining for that, nothing has been decided. So really I could go anywhere! I've always wanted to live in Austin, TX or Nashville, TN or maybe Nashville, NC! Who knows! I could go anywhere! But I want to move somewhere new before 2016 gets here!

Fifth: I want to do at least one thing to further my Student Ministry career. May that be an internship or new volunteer positions, I don't know. But I'm going to do something to actually help my work towards what I'm going to school for.

Sixth: I want to make deans list at least once before I graduate! I only have two more semesters before I graduate and it's been a while since I've had deans list. I really want one more before I graduate!

Seventh: I want to read more books and keep up with the news better. But to be completely honest that probably won't happen until the summertime. I still need to be realistic about these goals. So I'm not going to try to ad extracurricular reading to my list until I'm out of school for the summer. \

So that's it guys! This is what I want to accomplish this year! Feel free to email me or comment at any point and ask me about it. I'm gonna do this!


Saturday, December 27, 2014

Five ways to make sure you get the most out of eating out

I have worked in the service industry in various capacities over the past couple years. I love it! I wouldn't trade it for anything! But I've realized recently that many people simply don't know how to go out to eat. I'm not here to fuss or anything but rather educate on the secret ways to make your experience more enjoyable. These are common mistakes that I see daily at both of my jobs. So here are a few tips that if you follow I promise that you will have a much better experience in any restaurant!

1. Treating your host like a human being. 
The person at the front of the restaurant gets the most heat from customers. They are professionals. They are doing their job. They don't like keeping you in their lobby longer than they need to, it hurts their tip out. It actually cuts into the money they make if they aren't seating you. They wouldn't do it. So please trust them to do their job and that they actually are trying to seat you as fast as possible. Also, please avoid complaining to them about where they place you or asking to move to a different table. Not all tables have a server assigned to them during slower times. They will usually comply and allow you to sit where you requested but it means they have to stop their job and go look for a server that will take your table. Please, unless you absolutely couldn't sit where assigned, do not ask to be moved. It slows them down, makes them have to stop assisting customers in the front just because you decided that an identical booth on the other side is somehow better. Plus the host will probably tell your sever what a pain you already are and then you are off to a rough start. Just let the host do their job. Believe it or not, they're good at it.

(Also hosts don't mind if you request a particular server. If you have a favorite server feel free to request them.)

2. Treating your server like a human being.
Very much like the first one, your server is doing their job. Please don't ask us what our real job is. Yes many of us work two jobs but this is in fact a real job and more challenging that most jobs. Yes we are here to serve you but no we are not your slaves. Please treat us with dignity and respect. Please do not yell at us if your food comes out wrong. We don't cook it. We tell the kitchen what to cook and hope they pay attention to the ticket. Please warn us of any allergies you have. Any good server is going to put allergy alerts on the ticket to make sure there is no cross contamination of your allergens. Please don't talk to us like we are stupid. We will avoid tables of rude people. Please trust us when we tell you something, we work here, we are required to know the menu back and forth, we know what's able to be substituted, and we know almost every ingredient in our kitchen. When we tell you we don't have something, it's because we don't have it. We aren't hiding all your favorite things in the kitchen and not allowing you to have it. We really do want you to enjoy your meal. So please don't pick fight's. Please read the menu. We do not have time to list everything on it. We give it to you for a reason. Don't get upset when you ask "What kind of food you got here?" and I answer, "Well we have a menu that I highly recommend." and then I walk away. Also please make eye contact with us. It's amazing how much we interact with guests but aren't allowed the dignity of making eye contact with them. And if you remember our name it makes our day! Most servers will tell you their name. If you remember their name you will quickly become the favorite table on this round and you will never have to ask for refills because they will already be there and they might be able to offer you deals or discounts you didn't know about. We can do a lot for you. SO be nice! (This includes stopping your instagramming of food when your server comes to speak to you.)

Quick intermission story time: I had a table the other day of two ladies. After I got their drink's and complementary bread I asked if they had any questions about the menu. The conversation went like this;
Lady, "I have a quick question. This rack of lamb, is it pork or beef?"
Me, "Ma'am it's actually lamb! It's neither pork or beef."
Lady, "I understand but is it pork or beef?" (At this point I would think it's safe to say that she actually doesn't understand.)
Me, "It is not pork or beef. It is lamb. It's its own separate thing."
Lady with now much attitude and frustration, "It's a simple question. I don't know why you don't understand me. Is the lamb pork or beef?"
Me with a bit of tenseness in my voice because I can't tell her how stupid she's being and I have 4 other tables I could be assisting right now, "Ma'am, actually, beef comes from cows, pork comes from pigs, and lamb comes from lambs, like sheep, like an entirely different animal."
To which she snaps at me with, "Oh. I didn't know. I'm going to need a few more minutes to look at the menu."
I sighed and went and checked on my other tables. But really. We know what we're talking about. We actually take a lot of tests and such to be allowed to serve.

3. Not overreacting. 
We do not intentionally over or under cook your food. We do not intentionally forget one of your modifiers. Things like extra this or none of that are called modifiers. If you have more than three on one item the kitchen is likely to mess one of them up. Have some grace. They are cooking easily 50 meals at once. Also the chef had created the meal to taste it's best so if you change almost everything about it don't be surprised if it isn't the best dish you've ever eaten. It would be on the menu if it was. Almost every restaurant will gladly recook or fix your messed up food. We are always very sorry. Trust me, we don't like mistakes to happen. And we avoid them at all costs. So please understand that we are going to do everything we can to make it right and yelling is not going to fix anything. Please don't yell if you feel your food is taking too long. Especially if out order something like a well done 20 ounce steak or a well done bone in steak. These take up to 40 minutes. Basically don't yell. We aren't trying to upset you and if we have please be an adult and explain what's bothering you and we will do what we can to fix it. Also: we don't like screaming children either. We can't do anything about it either. We just hope they shut up or leave soon so complaining to us about it isn't going to get the baby to shut up.

4. Interacting with management properly. 
Believe it or not this is not the time to complain about our server behind their back. You should address your server with any issues you have with them. This is back to the no yelling thing though. This manager is trying to endure that all 80 or however many tables are having an amazing experience. Please don't yell at them for any reason. I can't actually think of any instance in a restaurant where it would be okay to yell. (Actually I once worked with a server for a week who made a racist and rude comment about war to a veteran at her table. They had the right to yell. But even they didn't! She got fired. Because that's not acceptable.) That's really the only time I can think of yelling being okay in a restaurant. If you need to speak to a manager then they are coming to your table to help you. Treat them nicely.

5. Tipping properly.
Alright this is one that gets touchy to a lot of people. So I'm going to be factual and blunt. Servers do not get pay checks. We literally live off of your generosity. We do not get to keep all of our tips. We must tip out our hosts, bartenders, bus boys, and food runners. This at many restaurants is somewhere around 5 percent of our food sales. It varies by restaurant and how many positions they must give tip shares too. If you don't tip or tip below that we are actually paying out of our pocket for you to go out to eat. This is not okay. We work long days on our feat doing lots of manual labor, working weird hours, (how often are we free to eat at normal meal times? Maybe twice a week. The rest of them we're working the rush.) and doing everything we can to please all of our tables. Some don't think it's fair that they are responsible for their servers income. Why can't the restaurant pay them? If they did then there would be no more complimentary bread or chips and salsa and food prices would skyrocket! Plus service would go down if we knew we were working for the same amount of money no matter how much our table spent then we would care a lot less about service. Just being honest with you. The norm is 20% of your original bill. (meaning what your total was before any coupons or gift cards you used.) Which is honestly a steal. Say you spend $100. We are doing $100 worth of work for you. And you only are having to pay us $20. If you stay at our table for hours on end you are cutting into our income too. Please remember that. We want you to enjoy your time but we need that table to make money. "Camping" at our table for 5 hours is not okay unless you tip enough to cover the lost tips. If your bill is less than $5 then you need to tip 100%. You're still using our table and our service. Remember that.

So following these things will make your visit more enjoyable! Being a pleasant customer makes you a favorite customer! Favorite customers get perks! If these tips don't make your experience better than I just don't know what to tell ya. Obviously there will be bad servers and there will be bad food and there will be bad restaurants. But don't find problems where there aren't any. 

Random side note: Showing up to eat five minutes before we close is just a crappy move. It just is.

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy your next meal out!